Of Tranfers And Emotions
by Lil' Ass Kicker
Summary: In which Jake may be getting transferred and Amy has to fess up for her feelings, no matter how telling him seemed like a long time coming. (1st part of a 3 part series. And slight swearing.)


_**Summary:**_** _In which Jake may be getting transferred and Amy has to fess up for her feelings, no matter how telling him seemed like a long time coming. (1st part of a 3 part series.)_****  
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**_Disclaimer: I don't own Brooklyn Nine Nine or any of it's characters. I just simply love Jamy/ Peraltiago. I also donnot own any products or shows, because I _****_most probably will._**

**_Of Transfers And Emotions _**

**_3rd Person_**

She doesn't remember much after his confession, apart from the obvious shock and half relieved and half terrified feelings in her heart. Half relieved to know his big confession wasn't his impending death or that he hates her, the opposite actually. Apparently. Half terrified because... well because he's _Jake. _Her annoying, joking, immature yet loveable partner who just told her he wished something could happen between them 'romantic stylez'. He's hers though, huh?

She guesses. She searched his face for any signs of joking, to which she found none. No laugh lines, no him saying to forget it. Just _'American needs me'. _Not even a real goodbye.

She must of stood there for a good ten minutes before realizing she was crying, what else could she do? Forget about it? Oh fuck no, Jake Peralta just told her he loved her- or at the very least _like like_d her... What was she supposed to do? Run after him and propose marriage? Oh no, she can wait.

Or at least, she thinks she can.

* * *

><p>She can't wait. Just can't do it. A month in and she has her thumb hovering over his name on her contact list, she's thought about it... calling him. But she never had the balls to actually do it. And it's not like he's even gonna pick up, right? His phone probably got taken away, for protection reasons, right? So she can still call it and hear his voice mail and that's OK... right?<p>

_Fuck it. _Her finger hits the call button and before she knows it there's a glass of wine in her hand and it's her fourth call.

_'Hey, sorry I can't get to the phone right now but I'm either ignoring you or too lazy to pick up. You can leave a message but I, probably, won't listen to it. Bye.' _

She's swirling her wine in the glass and blocking out tears. "One more time." She assures herself and dials.

"_Hello?" __  
><em>

She did not expect that, she was right though. It's not Jake's voice, it's some strict toned FED probably. Not probably, definitely. Jake hasn't got a deep, strict voice. He's more laid back and jokey and he always answers with a '_whazzup_' or a '_what up bitch_' to her calls.

_"Hello?" _

She wises up and realizes the person probably wants a response. "Hello." She regrets saying it straight away because the man on the phone huffs and complains about how she's calling so much and she should get a night shift because it's way too late for anyone to give a shit to what she has to say. "I'm sorry." A small tear makes its way down from her eye and it falls into her wine. "I'm so sorry, how many times have I called?"

_"Six, is Jake your boyfriend or something? Has he not told you whats going on? 'Cause listen sweetheart, you won't-"_

"I know whats going on." She makes no comment on the girlfriend thing, she lets him assume. "I just miss him."

_"You Amy?_" He asks, as if he knows her.

"How do you know who I am?"

_"Caller ID dipshit."_ She sighs and thinks about it, she really is a dipshit right now. "_Are you?_"

"Yes, this is Amy. Why?"

_"Jake Peralta, your... boyfriend, partner... whatever you two are, I don't care. He told me to tell you about a new number or something if you called or whatever."_

"Who are you?"

_"I'm a friend of his. Not a FED, he didn't want them having your phone number or whatever."_

"Oh... what about this new number then?"

* * *

><p>So that's how she finds herself using code to text Jake, using words they'd use in undercover couple scenarios - which is kind of ironic now. Six O'clock every two days, maybe longer. And sure it's not the same as seeing him but it's a lot more than Rosa, Boyle, Terry, Gina or Holt get... maybe Holt, she's still not sure of his part in this.<p>

Other then that, things seem normal. Well, except she's a single woman now. You heard me right, yeah! She broke up with Teddy, kind and sweet and so very boring Teddy. She may have liked him and all but after comparing what she has- _had- _with him to what she could have with Jake... she found herself questioning whether or not her decision to date him was based on the fact her mother is trying to set her up on blind dates.

Which she is so doing right now, claims Amy needs to '_get back on the old horse_' which- if she knows her mother as well as she thinks she does- can only mean something purely sexual. Although Amy tells her she's waiting on someone, her mother insists that a person can't be waited on.

_'They may not even feel the same, this man- if it is a man, I will not judge, although your father would- may not be worth the wait.' _

**_'Trust me, he is.' _**

_'Hm... Worth a wait, does he like you? I mean who wouldn't! So your actually waiting for the man to... what exactly?'  
><em>

_**'Waiting for the right time mom, and yes he told me he did... to a certain degree of liking. I dunno whether or not it meant like or... I dunno.' **_

_'Well, good luck. He will be the one after all this right? I don't know how much longer you're biological clock will wait so-" _

Her mother didn't get a chance to finish before she hung up on her and almost laughed at her phone. She thought about that after, I mean, who couldn't?

* * *

><p>Nothing really changed when he came back: no love confessions, no dramatic hugging on a beach. Just a small '<em>welcome back' <em>and then a small hug before parting ways. She was hoping for more but they've never been people to do the whole... romance movie get up. He can sure try though.

They go back to being partners, he looks tired sometimes but tells her it's nothing- which it isn't. But she knows Jake, talking about feelings is his nightmare... or maybe other things are now.

She starts to show up at his apartment- Gina's technically- with take out food and a different box set of _Friends _every Friday and Saturday nights. They go from season one straight through season 5 with no confessions of undying love, she sometimes falls asleep on the couch and he drapes a blanket -simply reserved for her, he says- on her before waking her up for coffee the next morning.

He says something about having her there makes him feel safer, she can live with that. He tells her, the first time she slept on the couch, that he'd not slept the night since he came back. So she carry's on coming back, her mother asks her how her waiting is going- to which she replys _'perfect' _with a small smile- and she stays patient.

* * *

><p>"I have something to tell you." He pauses the TV just as Monica and Chandlers wedding is about to happen, and she whimpers. "I know this is one of your favorite episodes but I really need to talk to you."<p>

"OK," She gives him a small smile. "What is it?"

"I might be getting transferred." He states, looking down to her feet- which are on his lap- and playing with his hands. Her smile falters and her eyebrows knit together

"What?" She asks, sitting up a little. "You might be... getting transferred? As in, not my partner anymore? Why?"

"It's voluntary, Ames. I said I'd do it when they offered it to me, I dunno why."

"Why?" She asks, another question just slipping out. "I'm sorry, I know what you just said but, why?"

"They want me to do more undercover work, said I was good for it."

"But Jake, that was the worst thing to ever happen to you. You told me you were shit scared all the time, you _hated _it-"

"Well I didn't wanna let them down." He states. "I mean, what am I useful for at the Nine- Nine? Terry and Holt won't let me do shit since I started seeing that therapist... this is something-"

"Something stupid." She lets it slid out without realizing. "I'm sorry, but- you know what? I'm not even sorry, I mean it. It's stupid, why can't you see that?"

"I-"

"And just as things were starting to..." She sighs and shakes her head. "Starting to chan-" She's loosing her breath and she's trying to hold back tears. It's stupid, really! He told her how much he _hated _it, how _scared _he was all the time and how glad he was to be back with them- with her. Sure they weren't together _together _but she was happy with what they had.

"Started to what?" He asks, moving closer and pulls her into a hug- but it's short lived because she pulls away.

She could practically see his heart break in his eyes as she pulled away, he was never hard to read- not to her- and she could see how upset he was.

"Started to change between us!" She almost yells, looking down to the ground straight after she says it. "Made me realize that maybe romantic styles wasn't the worst thing." She looks back up at him. "But now you're gonna screw it up but fucking off again."

"Ames."

"Please," She breaths in. And out, in again, out again. "Don't. Do what you want." She stands up, grabs her bag and prepares to leave before realizing her coat is behind him. "Can I have my jacket please? It's November and freaking cold."

"Please don't leave." He stands up and walks up to her, but she steps back.

"I think I love you." She states, the words falling out. "Fuck it. I do love you. It's so stupid because all you said was romantic styles and suddenly I have wedding chimes in my head, breaking up with Teddy and calling your phone six times to hear your voice mail message before some hippy- whatever- or something- dude answers to give me a number I don't recognize. Then I text it twice a week and sometimes call it, to no avail, and suddenly five months later... you're back. My mom was already planning out seating at my imaginary wedding by the time you were back..." He chuckles a little. "Shit, oh shit no. You don't feel the same anymore do you?" His eyes soften a little when she looks up at him again, almost at the end of her sappy speech. "I should just give up my badge and gun for being detective- terrible- detective should I? Shit." He pulls her close and smiles into her hair.

"You've never sworn so much in your life have you?"

"You just bring it out in my huh?" She jokes and pulls back. "I have to go." She grabs her jacket. "I'll let you think about this and all... I'm sorry if you don't still feel the same."

And with that she leaves, ignoring his protests, and shrugs on her jacket.

* * *

><p>Rosa appears at her door on Saturday afternoon. "Hi." She greets the woman, who simply shoves past her to get inside.<p>

"I don't know what the hell is going on between you and Peralta but I don't appreciate getting five thousand voice mails about it at eleven o' clock at night!"

"Excuse me?" She closes the door and walks over to her couch to clear some space for Rosa to sit.

"Peralta has been calling everywhere just to talk to someone, advice or some bullshit like that, on women. Now that can only mean you, Gina or his mom, and it's not Gina."

"There's nothing wrong." She gestures the clear space to her.

"I'll stand, thanks. There is something wrong."

"No there is not. Jake just needs advice on something-"

"Yeah, you. God Santiago!" She slams down onto her couch and Amy sits beside her. "That idiot loves you, everyone can see it." Amy sighs. "I know he told you he did." Amy opens her mouth to ask but gets cut off. "He told Boyle and Boyle told me."

"Wow, can be in love with someone around here huh?"

"No." She deadpans the slight attempt at humor. "Peralta is way better at the joke crap." Amy shrugs. "Now, you're gonna get out a bottle of scotch and tell me all about what shit you've piled yourself knee deep in."

* * *

><p>After Rosa has left and the scotch bottle is left half untouched, Rosa drank more than her, that's when her phone rings. Seeing his name flash on the screen, and deciding she can't be bothered to hear it... she leaves it to voice mail.<p>

_'I know you're ignoring me. I have to talk to you. Call me back.' _

She does, after shes hung up she cleans. And I mean she _cleans _like hell, Jake always comes over unannounced but now there's the possibility of a relationship on their hands and she just figures it'll pay for him to be comfortable in her apartment, getting serious means staying at each others places. Then again, he never bothers with the cleaning side of things so why should she?

Because she's Amy Santiago. She doesn't half ass anything, especially not when Jake Peralta is involved.

* * *

><p>An hour later she's sitting with her feet up on his lap and sipping her coffee waiting for him to talk. "You gonna tell me yes or no?" She asks.<p>

"Huh?" He asks, pausing the TV. Their finishing the episode of _Friends _they paused before she made her soppy assed confession and ran out of his house. "Oh yeah... I was gonna give you an answer wasn't I?" She nods. "Honestly when you told me you were in love with me I thought you were mocking me... yeah."

"Really?"

"Yup. Then it got more serious and you started crying and I felt like crap for even thinking it but, I did. And then when you left-"

"You called everyone we know?"

"Rosa came to see you didn't she?"

"Yeah." She smiles and he picks at her jeans. "Stop, you'll ruin them. Their my only good pair." She smiles. "Fine, their the most comfortable... I have tons of good pairs."

He stops, patting her ankle. "You're so weird."

Her smile widens and she sits up beside him. "I know." He looks at her and suddenly their both smiling. "I'm gonna take that as a yes?" He nods.

"Yeah," He grabs her hand and she leans forward to kiss him softly. "I love you by the way."

"I know." She kisses him again. "I love you too, jerk."

* * *

><p><em><strong>First of a 3 part series! The 'of' series! Hehe. Hope you liked. <strong>_

_**I like the thought of Amy just thinking 'fuck it' and going for it and then being all like 'oh shit, what did I do?!' I just like the head cannon of her going for it and him immediately giving a happy reaction but her taking it differently than normal. I know this was fluffy and probably too sweet but oh well! :) It's my mind! **_


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